FRECTIS

If you’re from the 80s you remember The Breakfast Club and of course you remember the Basket Case played by Ally Sheedy.  In case you don’t, here she is:

She made weird noises, fidgeted, hid inside her jacket, ate a Pixie Stick and cereal sandwich for lunch, and drew a snowscape on her detention desk using the dandruff that fell from her hair.  Yeah, she sits next to me in algebra class.

She arrives late smelling like a carton of Marlbro Reds, burping up Jamba Juice or chomping on the leftover ice from the Big Gulp she recently finished.  She cracks her hand knuckles over and over.  For a knuckle-cracker such as myself, considering it annoying is saying a lot.  I do object to when she flips off her Uggs digging her feet into the floor over and over until the boots are dragged off.  Then she starts on the toe knuckles.  At least she is wearing [mismatched] socks.  She sorts her change purse over and over by stacking the coins in random orders and grouping them in various piles making a variety of mental sales from the next pack of smokes to the next caffeine rush to a Taco Bell 4th meal package tonight after she scores some bud.  If the coins haven’t been noisy enough she will jingle her keys from her pocket, by reaching in her purse, or by simply tossing them back and forth in her hand.  The class is long and she is busy so she will take a nap somewhere in the middle.  She generally awakens and snaps open her flip phone-text machine and fire off a few thousand messages before putting her head on her book and stare at the teacher with her arms dangling dead to her sides.  To wake herself up she will start to shake her leg like a jack hammer which then begins to make the modular trailer the classroom is shake like the Star Tours ride at Disneyland.  I am the twitchiest person on the planet with all sorts of kinetic energy that has to move if I am not the one presenting and I actually got seasick during one class period from all her rocking and rolling.  I hope the geology lab isn’t nearby because those students are getting all kinds of false readings Mondays and Wednesdays from 4pm to 6pm.

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