I attended two births in one day, almost exactly 12 hours apart.  One was due last month, one was due this month.  One boy, one girl.  One woman surrounded by family, the other with only her husband.  One noisy, the other quiet.  One totally uncomplicated, the other almost completely complicated.  One born in the water, one born on a stool.  Both babies born at home, one woman stayed put, the other went to the hospital.  One didn’t need any help, the other needed all my help.  One didn’t, the other one did.  One didn’t tear, the other needed to be cut.  One baby came out screaming, the other needed resuscitation.  One baby nursed all by itself, the other needed a lot of assistance.  Both moms are stable, tired, and happy.  Both babies are stable, warm, and fed.  Both families are at home.  One midwife is extremely sore, tired, and grateful.

And crabby.

When I had to take my client to the hospital for her [minor, outpatient] complication [outside my scope of care] she requested a specific hospital where I know no one.  Yes, the one whose L&D has midwives but where the doctors hate them but are stuck with them because they are an HMO.  The ER doc evaluated her and said, “Yep, I know nothing about obstetrics and gynecology.  I’ll see who is on call.”  Which sounds about right to me.  The doc on call came in with a shitty attitude.  In her defense, I suppose getting called out of bed at 4am WHEN YOU’RE ON CALL FOR THE SERVICE IS A BIT UNEXPECTED so you have to be a bitch to everyone in the room to drive home your point.  And YES I know an obstetrician much more friendly than you who would gladly provide the service requested BUT HE DOESN’T WORK AT YOUR HOSPITAL.  DEAL WITH IT.  Is it too much to expect the unexpected when you work at a hospital?  Shouldn’t you be ready for people to walk in off the street asking for help in the ER after something unplanned happens to a person?  If I could schedule  my problem births in advance using my handy standard issue Crystal Ball for Obstetrics with the friendly doctor so as not to fuck up your demeanor beauty sleep, I would have.  ‘Cause frankly, being up since Friday when it’s now Sunday blows as far as I’m concerned, but you don’t see me throwing a stink eye your way.  So, a million thanks for your assistance, I’m glad you were nice to my client and took your disdain for ‘cleaning up the midwife’s mess’ out on me instead.  I wonder how much better she would’ve liked to see my client arrive by EMS for a crash section with a hypoxic baby transferred to the Level III NICU instead?  Yeah, I think she’d prefer this mess over that one.